I am sitting on my little rug, my back nestled comfortably into my cushion. I am eating cut up honeydew, chewing slowly and methodically as I wait for my dad to come home. I am in our favourite room of the house, even though all my rules for it have or will be broken.

It dawns on me now. I don't want to go back to school. I want to keep puttering around in this house, moving into this new home into which, finally, I actually do want to move. But - I don't want to move into that apartment...only the kitchen makes me enthusiastic. I don't want to have to buy textbooks ... create another 6 semester plan ... start doing homework ... go out with friends ... find things to do, discover things to avoid ... the pressure, the life, the whirl of it all.

Here, there is silence, there is emptiness, there is a tranquil solitude I don't want to lose.

meat - 2005-03-17

singular occurrences - 2004-12-25

pomposity (concerning ideals) - 2004-12-23

from self-consciousness to self-knowledge - 2004-12-09

the politeness motivation - 2004-12-07