So today has been a long day, even though it shouldn't've been because all my days are approximately the same length, so there should be no long or short about them. However, by the time German was over, I was completely exhausted, probably because I did study pretty hard for the German quiz. I mean, after all, I did do over a week's worth of German in just under two days. I walked into Stats section and fell asleep about halfway through the first problem. In a way, the unexpected nap was just as well, for I had, as a result of the aforementioned exhaustion, been thinking that maybe I ought to head back to my room straight after section because no way was I going to complete an Econ PS in that kind of state. But if I did that, would I have to head back up to campus in order to get work done? And then would I have to head back to the apartment to cook dinner? And immediately thereafter trek back uphill to EARS training? It was all very worrisome, in a back-of-your-mind kind of way. Now it's pretty clear that I'll stay here until 1) I finish my Econ PS or 2) I have to leave for EARS training, whichever comes first. Dinner can find itself a way in somewhere, or maybe not at all, since I seem to be doing so well at this two meals a day thing.

On the other hand, I woke up when the class was confusedly discussing exclusivity and independence - probability more than stats, in other words, and that meant trouble for me. Because, after all, if there's one branch of mathematics to which I've been introduced that I understand the least, it must be probability. A pity, for I'll be spending the rest of my undergrad years (and possibly grad and career years) working with or using probability. I'm working on the assumption that I'll be able to get by, and that a more thorough education will sort of exstinguish any misunderstandings which dare to linger. In any case, I fear that my napping through so much probability explication is a very bad augury indeed, particularly in light of the fact that Stats is my most boring class, by far. Even physics (optics, waves, and particles this semester) is far, far more interesting and that course is probably completely useless to my future education and career, even if it is personally edifying. I have the feeling that my Stats TA will come to know me quite well by virtue of the many office hours through which I will likely have to blunder. This premonition is quite significant, as I rarely, if ever, use office hours, being completely unused to asking teachers of any sort for help on homework before it's due, much less clarification of concepts covered in lecture and not yet evidenced concretely in homework. And even then ... For mostly the option of going to office hours never really enters my mind, just as a blind man suddenly given sight would forget to look for the door to find it.

Well, I have dwadled about 15 minutes of my scarce time away. I hadn't really realized, until I checked earlier today, that I have a PS due every day this week except today. I'm not stressed, of course, but I am worried in a back-of-my-mind kind of way. I'm not feeling very guilty, either, because the only way I could have forestalled the eventuality of doing one PS per night was by 1) not obsessing over my schedule last week 2) completely ignoring the possibility that my transfer might not be successful 3) not having an hour of social life and 4) not having a kink in my armour of discipline. And, well, each one of those conditions is patently impossible, much less all of them at once. In either case, I have 3 or 4 hours to do my Econ PS, and hopefully I won't get too caught up formatting my Word docs and Excel sheets, as I am wont to do. I am also hoping that I will make fewer mistakes on my Econ PSs, because last year, I definitely did not hand in one perfect homework, for reasons most mysterious to me, even to this day. I think I shall pursue the origination of any such small errors more ardently this semester, simply because it is annoying to have so consistently such small flaws. Unfortunately, I feel rather uncomfortable with my Econ TA. He is so ... greasy. I do like the professor, though, so perhaps I will go to him instead. Besides, he was trained as a mathematician before becoming an economist, so I am sure that I will understand him much better than I understand the textbook, which is still so far from being as mathematical as I need it to be. This - this is a problem about which I'll have to write later, in addition to the "politeness motivation problem", so to speak.

Yes, well, I have stalled long enough now. Good day.

meat - 2005-03-17

singular occurrences - 2004-12-25

pomposity (concerning ideals) - 2004-12-23

from self-consciousness to self-knowledge - 2004-12-09

the politeness motivation - 2004-12-07